You've tried to think your way out of it. You've made the lists, read the books, and told yourself to stop worrying about things you can't control. And still, at 2 a.m., your mind runs the same loop.
What if the problem isn't that you're worrying wrong? What if fighting your thoughts is part of what keeps them so loud?
That's the idea at the heart of acceptance and commitment therapy, often called ACT (said like the word "act"). It's a different way of relating to anxiety, overthinking, and hard feelings, and many women find it a relief.
What is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)?
ACT is an evidence-based form of talk therapy. Instead of trying to get rid of painful thoughts and feelings, it helps you make room for them, so they stop running your life.
The goal isn't to feel good all the time. The goal is to live a full, meaningful life, even when anxiety, sadness, or self-doubt come along for the ride.
ACT grew out of the same family as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), but it takes a different approach. CBT often works on challenging and changing thoughts. ACT is less about arguing with your thoughts and more about changing your relationship to them.
The six core ideas of ACT
1. Acceptance. Letting feelings be there without fighting them. Not liking them. Just allowing them, the way you'd let a wave pass instead of bracing against it.
2. Unhooking from your thoughts (cognitive defusion). Seeing a thought as a thought, not a fact. "I'm a bad mom" becomes "I'm having the thought that I'm a bad mom." That small step back creates space.
3. Being present. Coming back to this moment, instead of living in yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's what-ifs.
4. The part of you that notices (self as context). Remembering that you're more than any one thought, feeling, or role. You're the one noticing them.
5. Values. Getting clear on what matters most to you. Not what you should care about, but what you truly do.
6. Committed action. Taking small steps toward those values, even when fear or doubt shows up.
How ACT can help women who overthink
Many of the women we work with are thoughtful, capable, and exhausted from the inside. They're high achievers, devoted moms, and the friend everyone calls. They're also very hard on themselves.
ACT can be especially helpful if you:
Get stuck in spiraling or racing thoughts
Worry constantly about things you can't control
Avoid things that matter to you because of fear or self-doubt
Struggle with perfectionism or imposter syndrome
Feel like you're living on autopilot, disconnected from what you want
Are navigating a life change you didn't choose, like a diagnosis, a loss, or a new chapter of motherhood
Try it: three simple ACT exercises
Name the story. When the familiar worry shows up, give it a name. "Oh, here's the 'everyone is disappointed in me' story again." Naming it helps you notice it instead of getting pulled under.
Leaves on a stream. Close your eyes and picture a slow stream with leaves floating by. Each time a thought comes, place it on a leaf and watch it drift away. You aren't pushing it away. You're just letting it move.
One small values step. Ask yourself, "What matters to me today?" Then pick one tiny action that moves toward it. Calling a friend. Five minutes outside. Saying no to one thing. Anxiety may come along. You can bring it with you.
Self-acceptance is not giving up
Some women worry that acceptance means settling or saying that hard things are okay. It doesn't. Acceptance in ACT means stopping the exhausting fight with what you feel, so your energy can go toward what you want to build.
It's the difference between "I shouldn't feel this way" and "This is hard, and I can still take the next step." That shift is often where real change begins.
What ACT looks like in therapy
ACT sessions feel like a conversation, often with simple exercises woven in. A therapist may help you notice patterns in your thinking, get clear on your values, practice mindfulness skills, and set small, meaningful goals between sessions.
Many therapists draw on ACT alongside other approaches, depending on what fits you best. If ACT sounds like a good match, mention it in your free consultation. We'll help you find the right therapist and approach for what you're carrying.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is ACT therapy used for?
ACT is used for anxiety, depression, chronic stress, perfectionism, life transitions, and chronic pain, among other concerns. It's especially helpful for people who get stuck in their thoughts or avoid things that matter because of fear.
What is the difference between ACT and CBT?
Both are evidence-based talk therapies. CBT often focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts. ACT focuses on changing your relationship with those thoughts, accepting them as passing experiences, and acting on your values anyway.
Is ACT good for anxiety?
Many people find ACT very helpful for anxiety, especially worry and overthinking. Instead of trying to stop anxious thoughts, which often makes them louder, ACT teaches you to let them be there while you keep living your life.
How do I stop worrying about things I cannot control?
You may not be able to stop the worry from showing up. What you can change is how much power it has. Noticing the worry, naming it, coming back to the present, and taking one small step toward what matters can loosen its grip over time.
If this sounds familiar, you might also find these helpful: how to calm your nervous system and signs of high-functioning depression in women.
Therapy for Anxiety and Overthinking in Denver and Across Colorado
You don't have to win the fight with your mind to feel better. You may just need a new way to hold it.
At Discover Peace Within, our women's therapists help clients quiet the noise, reconnect with what matters, and feel more like themselves. We see clients in person in Denver and online across Colorado through our counseling services.
Book a free 20-minute consultation and let's find the right fit for you.