Adulting in Denver is Hard: A Real Guide for Young Women Figuring It All Out

Written By Ilene Gold

Let's be real for a second—adulting in Denver is hard. Like, really hard.

One minute you're scrolling through LinkedIn seeing everyone else seemingly crushing their careers, and the next you're crying in your car after a job interview because you stumbled over the "tell me about yourself" question. Again.

If you're a young woman trying to figure out life in this beautiful, overwhelming city, I see you. You're juggling applications for jobs you're not even sure you want, wondering if that guy from Bumble is actually relationship material or just another waste of time, and probably questioning whether you'll ever feel like you have your life together.

Here's what I wish someone had told me: that anxious, uncertain feeling? It's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's actually a sign you're growing.

The Real Talk About Being a Young Woman in Denver

Denver is incredible—the mountains, the culture, the endless hiking trails and breweries. And let’s not forget the music scene! But it can also feel like everyone has it figured out except you. Social media doesn't help either, does it? Everyone's posting their highlight reels while you're over here trying to remember if you brushed your teeth this morning.

At Discover Peace Within, we work with young women every day who are dealing with:

  • That Sunday scaries feeling... more like: The Every Day Scaries: Job hunting anxiety, imposter syndrome at work, or that pit in your stomach wondering if you chose the wrong career path

  • Relationship confusion that keeps you up at night: Is he actually busy or just not that into you? Should you stay friends with that toxic college roommate? Why does dating feel like a part-time job you hate?

  • The loneliness of starting over: Making friends as an adult is weird and hard, whether it’s at a new job or you’re new to town - especially when you're already dealing with anxiety or depression

  • Identity crisis mode: Feeling like you don't even know who you are anymore, let alone what you want

  • Mental health struggles that feel overwhelming: Anxiety that makes your chest tight, depression that makes everything feel pointless, or trauma that keeps showing up - uninvited

Sound familiar? You're not broken, and you're definitely not alone.

When You've Lost Touch With Who You Actually Are

Here's something that might blow your mind: that voice inside you—your authentic self—she's still there. She didn't disappear; she just got really quiet under all the noise.

Think about it. When was the last time you made a decision without first thinking about what everyone else would think? When did you last say exactly what you meant instead of what you thought people wanted to hear?

The Signs You've Been Playing a Role Instead of Being Yourself

You know that feeling when you're constantly performing? Like you're an actor who forgot they were in a play? Here are some dead giveaways:

  • You ask everyone else what they think before making any decision (even small ones like what to order for lunch)

  • You feel physically uncomfortable or anxious when you have to share your actual opinion

  • You genuinely can't tell the difference between what you want and what you think you should want

  • You say "yes" to things that drain you because saying "no" feels impossible

  • People describe you as "so nice" but you feel like you're dying inside

Finding Your Way Back to You

The journey back to yourself isn't about becoming someone new—it's about remembering who you were before the world told you to be different.

Start small and be patient with yourself. Maybe it's ordering the weird menu item you actually want instead of the safe choice. Maybe it's wearing the outfit that makes you feel confident even if it's not "trendy." Maybe it's finally telling your friend that her constant complaining is exhausting.

Question the "shoulds." Every time you catch yourself thinking "I should do this" or "I should feel that," pause. and ask yourself: “Says who?” Is this actually your value, or is it something you absorbed from family, society, or that one professor who made you feel small?

Practice saying no. Start with low-stakes situations. "No, I can't cover your shift." "No, I don't want to go to that party." Notice that the world doesn't end when you prioritize your own needs.

Building Real Confidence (Not the Fake-It-Till-You-Make-It Kind)

Real confidence isn't about having all the answers or never feeling scared. It's about trusting yourself to figure things out, even when everything feels uncertain.

At Work: Surviving (and Eventually Thriving) in Your Career

Your first few years in the working world can feel like you're constantly drowning. Imposter Syndrome is real, and it's brutal. You might find yourself thinking things like:

  • "Everyone here knows I have no idea what I'm doing"

  • "I can't ask for help; they'll realize they made a mistake hiring me"

  • "I should be grateful just to have this job" (even when it's making you miserable)

Here's the truth: Everyone feels this way sometimes. Even your boss. Even that colleague who seems to have it all together.

Building professional confidence is about recognizing that you deserve to be here, you have valuable perspectives to offer, and making mistakes is how you learn, not proof that you're inadequate.

In Relationships: Learning What You Actually Want and Deserve

Denver's dating scene can be... a lot. Whether you're navigating dating apps, trying to figure out what you want in a partner, or dealing with complicated family relationships, it's easy to lose sight of what you actually need.

Red flags aren't always obvious. Sometimes it's just that feeling in your gut that something's off. Trust it. Sometimes it's patterns—like always feeling drained after spending time with someone, or constantly making excuses for their behavior to your friends.

Your standards aren't too high. Despite what anyone says, wanting to be treated with respect, kindness, and consistency isn't asking for too much. You deserve relationships that add to your life, not subtract from it.

Let's Talk About Mental Health

Anxiety and depression aren't character flaws—they're your brain's way of trying to protect you, even when the protection isn't needed anymore.

When Counseling Just Makes Sense

Look, therapy isn't just for people in crisis. It's for anyone who wants to understand themselves better and live more authentically. Consider reaching out if:

  • Your anxiety is running the show: Making decisions based on fear instead of what you actually want, avoiding opportunities because "what if," or physical symptoms like panic attacks, stomach aches, or sleep disruptions

  • Depression is making everything gray: Losing interest in things you used to enjoy, feeling hopeless about the future, or struggling to take care of yourself

  • Past experiences are affecting your present day: Childhood stuff, relationship trauma, or other experiences that keep showing up in your current life

  • You feel stuck in patterns that aren't serving you: Always ending up in the same types of unhealthy relationships, self-sabotaging when things go well, or struggling with perfectionism

  • You just want to understand yourself better: Therapy isn't just about fixing problems—it's about growth, self-awareness, and living more authentically

What Therapy Actually Looks Like

Forget everything you've seen in movies. Real therapy is more like having a conversation with someone who's trained to help you untangle your thoughts and feelings. It's not about lying on a couch analyzing your dreams (unless that's your thing).

It's a space where you can:

  • Actually say what you're thinking without judgment

  • Explore patterns in your relationships and behaviors

  • Learn tools for managing anxiety, depression, and stress

  • Figure out what you want your life to look like

  • Practice setting boundaries and communicating your needs

  • Work through past experiences that are still affecting you

You Don't Have to Figure It All Out Alone

One of the biggest lies our culture tells us is that we should be able to handle everything on our own. That asking for help is weakness. That our problems aren’t that bad. That needing support means we're failing somehow.

Guess what? That's complete bullshit.

You're not supposed to have it all figured out in your twenties. Despite what social media suggests, most people are just winging it and hoping for the best. The difference is some people have better support systems.

Denver has an amazing community of people who get it. Whether it's through professional therapy, support groups, creative communities, or just finding your people through shared interests, you don't have to navigate this alone.

Your mental health matters. Taking care of your emotional wellbeing isn't selfish—it's necessary. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you deserve to feel fulfilled, confident, and authentically yourself.

The Bottom Line

Your authentic voice—the one that knows what you want, what you need, and what you deserve—she's been there all along. She's been waiting patiently for you to come back to her, even when life gets messy and overwhelming.

This phase of your life, as confusing and challenging as it is, is also full of possibility. You get to decide who you want to be, what kind of relationships you want to have, and how you want to spend your days.

That's both terrifying and beautiful.

You don't have to do it perfectly. You just have to do it authentically.

Counseling at Discover Peace Within

We get it. Life as a young adult woman in Denver comes with unique challenges—from navigating your first "real" job to figuring out relationships and making new friends as an adult, to dealing with anxiety and depression while trying to build a life that feels authentically yours.

At Discover Peace Within, we believe therapy isn't about fixing what's "wrong" with you. It's about creating a safe space where you can explore who you really are beneath all the expectations, fears, and old patterns that might be holding you back.

We work with young women who are tired of feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected from themselves. Whether you're dealing with relationship issues, career stress, family dynamics, trauma, or just that general feeling of being lost, we're here to help you find your way back to yourself.

Our approach honors the connection between mind, body, and spirit because healing happens on all levels. We'll help you identify what's keeping you stuck, develop tools for managing stress, anxiety, and depression, and create a life that actually feels like yours.

Ready to stop feeling like you're just surviving and start actually thriving?

We offer a free consultation where you can talk with us about what you're going through and see if we might be a good fit. No pressure, no judgment—just a conversation about how we might be able to support you.

Contact Information:

You deserve to feel confident, authentic, and at peace with who you are. Let's figure out how to get you there. Let us help you discover peace within.

 
Ilene Gold
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